December “Zoom Zingers”

Jeff Pape and Katie Kempff

X-Ray’s perennial favorite “Herd In the Halls” has been rebranded as “Zoom Zingers” while we are fully remote. What follows is a collection of funny, strange and downright weird quotes said by East students during their virtual classes.

“Oh man, if these walls could speak….they’d have nothing interesting to say.”

“Cameras on, everyone!” *Cue slow collective groan*

“Sometimes, all I want is to turn into a life-sized Haribo gummy bear so that everyone would love me unconditionally.”

“No lie, John C. Calhoun had the sickest flow of the 19th century.”

“For the record, I like those stringy things on my bananas.”

“College Board really said: ‘Pandemic? Nah, PSAT scores.’”

“Apparently my $1200 laptop can’t handle two open tabs without dying a fiery death.”