February “Zoom Zingers”

Jeff Pape and Katie Kempff

X-Ray’s perennial favorite “Herd In the Halls” has been rebranded as “Zoom Zingers” while we are operating under a hybrid schedule. What follows is a collection of funny, strange and downright weird quotes said by East students during their virtual (and now in-person!) classes.

“My aesthetic is simultaneously postmodernist and existentialist.”

“Sometimes I catch myself treating my Zoom calls like a podcast and trying to pause.”

“How do we know that aliens aren’t the size of planets?”

“If I had $100 million and a private jet, I’d drop out and spend the rest of my life visiting all the Chick-fil-A locations in the world.”

“Jar Jar Binks is my spirit animal.”

“Riddle me this: If they don’t want me to eat the rocks in the fish tank, why do they look so delicious?”